Month: March 2016

To everyone who thinks they aren’t good enough

You probably can’t pinpoint the exact moment you started to believe you weren’t enough. Most likely it began when you were younger. Someone said something or treated you in a way that you didn’t deserve, but you thought you did. Comments and behaviours planted a seed in your mind which blossomed into assumptions that you hold onto today. That you, as you are, are not enough. This assumption most likely formed because someone you loved didn’t make you feel loved. Which was interpreted as “I am unloveable.”

I write this to tell you that you are wrong. You are loveable and good enough just as you are.

You may be thinking, ‘You don’t know me, you don’t know who I am, what I’ve done, the mistakes I’ve made, etc.” And you’re right, I don’t. But I do know that almost every person I have ever met is too hard on themselves. Holding an entirely different set of rules for themselves than they do for those around them.

It’s not your fault. We are raised in a society where buy more and change yourself are sold to us from birth. Our parents (who are also only human) have their own insecurities that can get passed on and the cycle of believe that we need to be more than we are continues; never being happy in our own skin.

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You, with all your flaws and human imperfections are exactly all you need to be. That internal voice that speaks harsh complaints about who you are is a liar. It can grow and get so loud that it makes you feel completely worthless. Imagine if you believed that you were good enough, as you are. If you could live your life with a belief in yourself and the decisions you make, how would that reflect in the way you interact with the world around you?

It benefits no one living a life trying to please others. When we live by the assumption that we aren’t good enough then choices can be made in hopes to impress those around us. If you feel unloveable then you may do whatever you can to make people love you. Which results in living a life for others and not for yourself.

Notice when that internal voice puts you down and question it. Are you really an idiot or did you just make a mistake? How would you respond to a friend if they looked at you and picked at every perceived imperfection? I imagine you would be angry and hurt. Yet you do it to yourself all the time without noticing the consequences. Be aware of how harsh you can be and see if you can question the beliefs you hold about yourself. Start trying to believe that you are good enough, with all your quirks and wonderful qualities. Because you are.

You are good enough. You just have to believe it.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

Enjoy Responsibly

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day. Which means many will be wearing, eating and drinking all things green. The day is named after the patron saint of Ireland who died over 1500 years ago. He is known for bringing Christianity to Ireland. As the celebration falls during lent it originally allowed for those abstaining from alcohol to be exempt for this one day. For most people this day now has very little religious connections but are still happy to celebrate. As Paddy’s Day allows for those par taking in festivities to start drinking at noon, which for a week day can certainly can feel miraculous.

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When it comes to drinking, especially when in the midst of celebrations pacing isn’t usually part of the equation. Which is why here in Dublin many locals stay out of the city centre on March 17th. Tourists come in and drink far too much, too early and things get messy. In general it seems many people don’t know their limit. Being surrounded by people who drink faster than you or having to buy rounds can add a pressure and a pace that might not suit you.

To know your limits it’s important to pay attention to what feels right for you when it comes to alcohol. You don’t have to be the same level of drunk of everyone else if you don’t want too. Especially if you suffer from anxiety, pacing can go out the window. That anxious voice that usually fills your mind might be quieted as the booze flows. However, what often happens is you wake up the next day feeling so much worst. Often because the fear of what happened while under the influence haunts you. If you have hazy memories that makes it worst and gives your anxiety more power and a louder voice.

Alcohol is a depressant which means that it takes longer for information to travel between the brain and body. This slowing down impairs everything we do but can often give an air of confidence, which is why people might do something drunk they would never do sober. Since it’s the most widely used drug in the world it’s common to make excuses for what happens drunk.

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As with all things it’s important to notice your own pattern when it comes to alcohol. Do you feel like you need a drink when you are sad/anxious/upset or angry? If that’s the case you are most likely using it to help you cope. If you feel it’s the only way you can celebrate or unwind then you most likely need it to help you relax. Using regularly in either scenario can become a problem because your body can forget how to regulate; you’re relying on a chemical to have the intended reaction. Which is why some people feel like they can only have fun while drinking.

The goal is to enjoy everything in moderation, which looks different for everyone. Today and any other day you decide to consume alcohol notice the impact it can have on you. You are fun and people will like your company even if you aren’t completely hammered. If you wake up dreading what happened the night before you’re only hurting yourself.

“Drink moderately, for drunkeness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise.” – Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra