Month: March 2015

Grieve the Dream

The ending of a relationship is like a death. It’s the death of the life we were living. It is also the death of the life we imagined for the future. Often times the sadness we feel when a relationship ends is not completely connected to the other person; but instead connected to the life we saw with them.

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Although happiness begins with ourselves, the right person can make us feel complete. While the wrong person can make us feel like something is missing. For many people, that feeling of unhappiness makes us change many parts of our lives. Not yet wanting to admit what it is that’s making us feel unfulfilled.

The thought of not being with your partner can seem scary and overwhelming. Especially if they have found a way to chip away at your confidence and shine a light on your insecurities. That’s why the question of ‘Why do they stay?’ to women in abusive relationship is so unfair. When you feel as though you deserve terrible treatment, you put up with terrible treatment.

Sometimes a relationship ends with no fault of anyone. You used to love each other, now you don’t. You had a wonderful life together, now you don’t. You saw an entire future with this person, now you don’t. Although this connection with them is ending, your life with them may not be (especially if you have children), it will just be different.

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If you have just come out of a relationship, or you are thinking about ending one, it’s important to give yourself time to grieve. Grieve the life you had imagined and grieve the person you wanted them to be. It can be difficult to move on, especially if you keep searching for closure. We usually want to get that from the other person but like most things it has to come from within. Give yourself time to be sad and know that this ending is the beginning of a new chapter.

There will come a time when you will look back and perhaps see this time as a defining moment. A time of chaos when like a phoenix you rose from the flames and started a new life.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”  -Mandy Hale

International Women’s Day

Sunday, the 8th of March is international Women’s Day. A day where women from all over the world can come together and celebrate each other. It’s a shame that such a day only officially happens once a year!

Here in Dublin there will be many events in honour of the day. If you want to see what’s happening near you, click here.

I am very grateful that I have been asked to speak at an event. I will be talking about self care as I feel it is so important, yet many women don’t give it enough time. In many cases women are the carers and minders of the world. (Not to say men aren’t wonderful caretakers.) However, women more frequently take on the role of taking care of everyone else; often forgetting to stop and mind themselves. int-wd-posterfb

If you are interested in self care, hearing about wonderful women or the political experience for women, why not pop along. This Women’s Day event is taking place Wednesday the 11th, at the Loreto Centre in Crumlin, Dublin 12, beginning at 10am.

“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?”  – Anais Nin