One thing that has become very evident to me is how dangerous it is to compare ourselves to others. Many of us walk around life making assumptions. We assume the man with the nice car has his life sorted with a great job. We imagine that the beautiful woman is happier. We gain very little knowledge about someone in a glance. While you are putting those around you on a pedestal, you are lowering yourself below it.
When you don’t witness the nitty gritty of everyday life it is very easy to assume others are doing better than you are. However, at some point in their lives everyone struggles and overall very few people feel ‘sorted’. But when you spend your time and energy making up wonderful lies about those around you, you drain the joy from your own experience.
Sally got a new job. Michael got engaged. Social media can lead to these comparisons happening more often, which leads to us judging ourselves more harshly. I don’t imagine you have often read an update that said, ‘Spent all week in my pyjamas, didn’t have the energy to go outside.’ or ‘I’m so lonely.’ Although we all have times like that.
We all want the outside world to see our best selves. It’s safer. Often we distract others with false smiles and things we cannot afford.
Instead of jumping to conclusions about how perfect the lives of others are, reflect on your own journey. You have struggled and fought and you have made it to this point. Assuming others are better than you detracts from all you have done and earned. Put that energy to better use, if you are unhappy change. (Easier said then done, I know that.)
Instead of wishing you were someone else, wish you were your best self. Then start doing what you need to make that happen.
“Don’t underestimate your worth by comparing yourself with others.” – Jaachynma N.E. Agu