‘But in my heart I was given a choice. There were two ways of looking at the situation, one would lead to despair and darkness and the other to light and peace of mind. I took the road of light. It was an instant decision, a moment of opportunity and grace.’
The above quote is Dave Dineen from Cork, he was a victim of multiple forms of abuse from his mother and brother. After not seeing his brother for many years he assumed when he did, he would want to kill him. However, something else came over him and like he said, he chose the light. His story of forgiveness is an amazing one, read all about it here.
Forgiveness can be very difficult and in Dave’s case it is incredible. When I hear of amazing examples of forgiveness I often ask myself, could I do the same?
To help myself with forgiveness I like to remember that I have a choice. If something terrible has happened, the only thing you can control is how you react to it. If I get rear-ended by another driver, I can loose my mind. Or I can be grateful that I am in one piece and that accidents happen.
If you are looking for steps to help you work on forgiveness this site has great suggestions. For example, living a happy life is great revenge for those who hurt you. And learning that the Aramaic word for forgive means to ‘untie’. You are loosening the hold that this other person had over you. With forgiveness you take back the control for your own well being.
If you aren’t ready to forgive quite yet then just remind yourself you are the one choosing to feel this way. The more empowered you feel, the less power you’ll want to give away.
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” – John Green