The Stories We Tell…

For each and every person on the planet the only reality we know is the one shaped by our own mind. Throughout our lives that reality may have become skewed because of the words and/or actions of others. Perhaps your parents were cold, you never felt heard, or you were abused by someone you loved. All of those things can lead you to believe that you aren’t good enough; or that you aren’t deserving of love.

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When the truth is, you do deserve love. You deserve to wake up every morning feeling okay in the person you are. Many people don’t feel that way. That friend of yours who you love so dearly, most likely spends a majority of the day putting themselves down. Saying they are stupid, ugly or a host of other awful things and believing it’s true. How would you feel if you heard someone you love speak like that to themselves? Why is it okay to speak to yourself in that way?

 Often times the words that hurt us the most are the ones we always believed about ourselves but hoped no one else could see. That’s why one remark can cut us down and ruin our day. Those are the things we can believe so easily. What if at your core, your personal truth was that you are deserving of love and happiness? Because you are, everyone is, you just need to believe it.

Start to notice the way you speak to yourself, without judgement. Be aware and decide if you want to continue to do that to yourself. Choose to believe in the good you have within you.

“Happiness is always there. You just have to choose to see it. There’s no point dwelling in the dark and ignoring the light of the stars.” – Carrie Hope Fletcher

Cute Positivity

If you have had a stressful week or month you deserve to feel some warm and fuzzies. A wonderful artist named Emm Roy has created positive doodles to help you get through those difficult days.

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If you’re feeling down, try to let in some light. The world would be a better place if we all believed we were deserving of the good things.

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” – Thomas Merton

Shop For Good

Console is the National Suicide Charity, founded by Paul Kelly following the suicide of his young sister in 2002. It provides professional counselling, support and helpline services (1800 247 247) to those in suicidal crisis and to those bereaved through suicide in Ireland and the UK. They seek to respond to the spiritual, emotional and psychological needs of their clients. Their mission is to provide professional therapeutic counselling, support and helpline services to people in suicidal crisis and to those bereaved through suicide with respect, dignity and compassion.

They are always working to give back to anyone who comes to them for support. Now is the chance for the rest of to give back to them. They are looking for volunteers for their wonderful campaign called ‘Shop For Good’. This is a unique fundraising initiative to raise much needed funds and awareness for Console, where every cent goes directly to the charity.

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It runs at the Dundrum Town Centre on April 24th-26th.  The concept is simple, buy a coupon from the Dundrum coupon kiosks for just €1.00. With each coupon you receive massive discounts in more than 100 shops and restaurants throughout the centre.  Multiple coupons will entitle the customer to multiple discounts so the more coupons you buy, the more you save and the more money will be raised for Console. Last year almost €40,000 was raised but they are hoping to double that figure this year.

Want to know how you can help? Console NEEDS volunteers! If you could give a minimum of three house in times listed below please contact Gerard Tiernan on 083 1265373 or email gerard@console.ie.

Friday, April 24th                         Saturday, April 25th                      Sunday, April 26th

9am – 12pm                                 9am – 11am                                     10am – 1pm
12pm – 3pm                                11am – 2pm                                      1pm – 4pm
3pm – 6pm                                   2pm – 5pm                                       4pm – 7pm
6pm – 9pm                                   5pm – 7pm

If you don’t want to volunteer then make sure to head to Dundrum over the weekend of April 24th – 26th and shop for good!

“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Happy Easter!

Just a quick note to wish you all a very happy Easter. I plan on enjoying the fact that Spring is around the corner. If you are feeling bright and springy yourself, why not start a little art project?

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Here’s some inspiration for you: mandalas (featured above), crafts for kids and crafts for adults. The changing season is a great excuse to start something new. Embrace the change and have faith the snow will melt and the sun with shine on your face once again.

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” – Hal Borland

Grieve the Dream

The ending of a relationship is like a death. It’s the death of the life we were living. It is also the death of the life we imagined for the future. Often times the sadness we feel when a relationship ends is not completely connected to the other person; but instead connected to the life we saw with them.

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Although happiness begins with ourselves, the right person can make us feel complete. While the wrong person can make us feel like something is missing. For many people, that feeling of unhappiness makes us change many parts of our lives. Not yet wanting to admit what it is that’s making us feel unfulfilled.

The thought of not being with your partner can seem scary and overwhelming. Especially if they have found a way to chip away at your confidence and shine a light on your insecurities. That’s why the question of ‘Why do they stay?’ to women in abusive relationship is so unfair. When you feel as though you deserve terrible treatment, you put up with terrible treatment.

Sometimes a relationship ends with no fault of anyone. You used to love each other, now you don’t. You had a wonderful life together, now you don’t. You saw an entire future with this person, now you don’t. Although this connection with them is ending, your life with them may not be (especially if you have children), it will just be different.

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If you have just come out of a relationship, or you are thinking about ending one, it’s important to give yourself time to grieve. Grieve the life you had imagined and grieve the person you wanted them to be. It can be difficult to move on, especially if you keep searching for closure. We usually want to get that from the other person but like most things it has to come from within. Give yourself time to be sad and know that this ending is the beginning of a new chapter.

There will come a time when you will look back and perhaps see this time as a defining moment. A time of chaos when like a phoenix you rose from the flames and started a new life.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”  -Mandy Hale

International Women’s Day

Sunday, the 8th of March is international Women’s Day. A day where women from all over the world can come together and celebrate each other. It’s a shame that such a day only officially happens once a year!

Here in Dublin there will be many events in honour of the day. If you want to see what’s happening near you, click here.

I am very grateful that I have been asked to speak at an event. I will be talking about self care as I feel it is so important, yet many women don’t give it enough time. In many cases women are the carers and minders of the world. (Not to say men aren’t wonderful caretakers.) However, women more frequently take on the role of taking care of everyone else; often forgetting to stop and mind themselves. int-wd-posterfb

If you are interested in self care, hearing about wonderful women or the political experience for women, why not pop along. This Women’s Day event is taking place Wednesday the 11th, at the Loreto Centre in Crumlin, Dublin 12, beginning at 10am.

“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?”  – Anais Nin

Awareness

Many people feel unhappy in their lives and they want things to be different. The first major step to change involves making one important connection. Realising that the only person you can change is yourself. From there, the rest is easy! Okay, maybe not easy. But if you spend your days blaming everyone around you for your own unhappiness, you’ll have a hard time moving forward.

Change is something that can be very scary. Even if we are doing negative things over and over, knowing they are not helping us, we continue. Often because it’s familiar, the familiar can be very comforting. The unknown is scary and what proof do we have that we’ll be any better off? The truth is, you don’t. But a good indicator that things may need changing is how happy you feel, how truly happy you feel. Ask yourself some important questions:

  • Are there a long list of things you want to change in your life?
  • Do you feel there is something lacking, an emptiness within you?
  • Do you assume everyone hates their job/living situation/life?

Maybe you are surrounded by friends and family who like yourself, feel that life is crap. To be completely honest, I would answer ‘no’ to all of the above questions. I love my life and in the past if I didn’t, I changed it. But I first had to start asking the hard questions and answer honestly.

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You don’t have to be miserable and not everyone is. However, ‘misery loves company’ so those really negative people can bring you down. They can make you feel as though happiness isn’t attainable. I promise you it is. But it starts with yourself. You need to look at your thoughts and feelings and decide if you want to continue on the path you are on.

All you need to do is begin to notice how you speak to yourself about the world around you. Maybe you’ve been looking through a negative lens for so long you weren’t aware things could be different. Awareness seems like such a small step, but it is so important. You cannot change that which you aren’t aware of. Once you have gained awareness then speaking negative is a choice. Once again the responsibility is on you to change.

Good luck and remember, awareness isn’t about beating yourself up for being (or not being) a certain way. It’s about noticing something and saying ‘Hmm, that’s interesting.’

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”  – C.G. Jung